"If there is a will, there is a way!"

Life Unexpected proves once again to be the appropriate title for my blog. It seems to be that nothing ever runs in a straight and predictable line, there are always twists and turns leaving me feeling lost, disoriented and confused as to which path must next be taken.

Currently I am finding myself nearing the end of another degree. Come the end of the month i will have completed all the requirements for a Masters of Education in Counselling Psychology. Sounds impressive, doesn't it? Except that I am a part of what is called "Generation Jobless", a generation that has come to realize no matter the amount of degrees gained we are still unable to find work. This was a bit of a reality check for me last night as I watched the documentary, "Generation Jobless" by CBC. As I have been applying for, and looking into, potential job opportunities it has become glaringly obvious that although I am now a trained counsellor I still do not have the experience necessary for obtaining the jobs I desire. So the question ends up being, how does one get the experience if they cannot get the jobs? It's a vicious cycle. Thankfully for me I have been given an opportunity to gain experience, however, that still comes with a cost. I still need money to live off of in order to make a go of it, to give time to build a clientele, and actually be able to make money off of counselling. Therefore, I am finding myself having to move in what feels like a backwards direction. I am now hoping I can get work serving tables because I know that will provide me with a decent wage until I can get things going, but how odd would it be to have someone who is a professional, potentually your counsellor, serving you at a restaurant? It just doesn't seem right to me and yet there really are no other options. And don't get me wrong, I do enjoy serving and do not belittle the work that people do there it's just that it's a dead end job. You are not going to be moving up from that and it's not adding to my skill set as a counselor. Overall, it's not what I expected to be doing once completing my Masters degree.

So where does this leave me? Well, it leaves me with the realization that nothing comes to you without hard work, humbleness/positive thinking, and a good support team. As I wrestle with where life is going to take me in the next month or so I come to realize that to get my "dream job" I need to work hard at showing myself, and others, that I can do the work and gain the experience necessary to get to where I want to be. That I have to humble myself and work in places I may not be excited to work with the understanding that I am doing what I have to do to survive and further develop my "experience resume".  I also have come to realize how essential networking and a strong support system is for me. I am grateful for my connections, they already have helped to encourage and guide me in the best steps to take.  I've been so lucky to have made the connections I have made during my time at UNB. I am also thankful to have people I know I can lean on during this time and I am gratefule to have kept the relationships I gained the years before while working at SSU. I also am forever grateful that I have a supportive family who, even though they are in Ontario offer a great source of comfort, love and support in whatever way possible. There is no way I would be able to do this on my own spiritually, emotionally, and even financially without all these individuals by my side. Life is about community and/or family (however you want to look at it). Without it, I don't know where would I be?

So I leave you with this. When times get hard what do you hold on to? Who helps to keep you on the straight and narrow and for those of you in a similar situation, how are you showing resilience in the way that you are working through disappointment? Who are you looking to? Or who could you be looking to? And in what kind of ways do you need to start pushing yourself to work hard at getting what you need to reach your goal? What are the barriers? And who can you talk to, or what do you need to do, to remove them? It can be overwhelming, but nothing is impossible. As my Mom always says, "If there is a will, there is a way".

It's late.
Tired.
Feel like all I do is look at this computer screen these days.
Asking myself:
What is this all for? Where am I going to be headed next?
Is love in the books for me?
I look.
I dream. 
I'm trying to gain steam, but I just feel more and more confused about it every time.

Whatever happened to finding love naturally?
Am I not looking hard enough? Or looking too hard?
Am I cancelling out options that could be? Or has the right guy just not come along at the right time?

I'm happy to be me. I enjoy my independence. I feel comfortable in my own skin, which has taken a lot of time, encouragement, and effort. Yet here I am. An accomplished and educated single woman struggling to find love, struggling to find a companion to share my dreams, stories, and life with.

But I have faith. I trust in the ONE who knows my desires.
So, I continue to Pray. Hope. Dream. Wait.
Because in the end I know it's worth waiting for.